More Safari and Zimbabwe for Life

Oh, what an adventure the past several days have been! For those of you who follow my Instagram story, you have an inkling of what is to come (@tehastravels is my insta handle, btw… very creative of me.) I was along for the ride with my new friend, Katy from Texas, (who I’d met on the South Africa Flash Pack tour) as she’d planned a 5-day adventure after the tour that sounded like fun, so I tactfully invited myself to go along (at least I thought I was tactful.) Our first destination was enjoying more of the animal kingdom in a different part of the country. Sabi Sands is a private game reserve that is a part of the Greater Kruger National Park. We stayed at Umkumbe Safari Lodge, which was in a beautiful location and a true wilderness experience. To the point where they require a staff member to walk you to your room after dark, just in case leopards decide to make a visit, as they have been known to do. The game drives here were no joke and our game driver, Geoff, had no problem off-roading through whatever terrain necessary to get views of the animals. And animals were everywhere! Our first glimpse was during our drive to the lodge in the taxi from the airport… we were actually delayed during this drive for 25 minutes due to elephants just hanging out in the road. Our cab driver got nervous and reversed a few times as they came closer to us, as apparently it’s unpredictable when they could feel threatened and charge.We honed in on a mother and son leopard duo during our first game drive and were lucky to be able to follow them in the subsequent drives. We even saw them on “a killing spree” that included a rabbit the mama leopard offed just inches away from us, and we then watched her take it up a tree to store it! Minutes later a dead impala (kind of like a smaller deer) was discovered stored in another tree! Then an antelope corpse was found… all the work of the leopards. You could tell by looking at them that their bellies were very full. We had a scare on one game drive as we were observing our leopard friends hanging out in the impala-storage tree, munching on their kill, when out of nowhere a mean male leopard pounced into the tree!! The more experienced mother took that as her cue to exit the tree but the cub freaked out and ran out to the end of a limb, where he perched nervously- not knowing what to do. The poor little guy was so scared he defecated from out on the limb! The male leopard proceeded to go at it, gnawing away at the impala, and in the process attracted several feisty hyenas who stood below seeking scraps (they even eat the bones– apparently hyenas eat anything.) Meanwhile, the mother leopard crouched in the tall grass observing the scene. The game drive ended before we could see the outcome of the scary scene but Geoff said the cub would “probably be okay” if he chilled out on his limb for a bit and waited for mean male leopard to leave. We were DYING to know what had happened and were extremely relieved on the next morning’s drive when we saw mother and son cruising around together, seemingly unscathed. Phew! We’d definitely grown attached. I was very lucky to have Katy as my safari-mate as (in addition to being a lot of fun) she has a real camera and takes great pictures AND she has insane animal tracking skills. I swear the lodge wanted to hire her. To be fair, they seemed to think the two of us had brought crazy-luck to their game drives as every one we were on was phenomenal! We were also told our game drives had unusual and unprecedented sightings- such as the leopard serial killing spree. Katy, though, is a human pair of binoculars. She could spot anything, no matter how far away AND correctly ID the animal. It was uncanny. Of course, at times the animals were so scarily close that a legally blind person could probably have made them out. We said good-bye to our new friends (the amazing staff) at the Safari Lodge- Geoff, Tanya, Jade, and Johann and moved onward to our next destination… Zimbabwe! Specifically, Victoria Falls which is the largest waterfall in the world and one of the seven natural wonders. As background, the Falls border the countries of Zambia and Zimbabwe and apparently views are great on both sides…but we were headed to the larger viewing area in Zim. So, my first inkling that something was ‘administratively awry ‘ was when going through immigration to leave South Africa. As the officer stamped my passport she commented something about not having any blank pages. Hmmm… was this possible?? I checked. Indeed it was. How did that happen?? Katy informed me that we needed to get a visa in Zambia, a joint visa that would allow us out of Zambia and then into Zimbabwe. Hmmm… I wondered where they would stick the visa?

A few hours later I sat in the Zambia airport, in the first of a few immigration back offices that I would be involuntarily visiting over the next few days. The officers were flummoxed… how had South Africa let me leave with no pages? They can’t do that. But they did. But they can’t. But they did. This went on for a bit.

Finally in quintessential “I don’t want to deal with this any longer” fashion, Zambia issued me a different (and more expensive) visa that would only get me out of their country but not into Zimbabwe. This required only a stamp, not a full page visa. I was told I could do the same thing to get into Zimbabwe. Our driver seemed slightly concerned with this predicament but said we’d “try our luck.” Zambia let me out of their country (happily) and we crossed the bridge that spans Victoria Falls and connects the two borders. On the other side of the bridge, our driver went into the Zimbabwe border control building (my passport in hand)… and a few minutes later came out, beckoning me to join him. Crap. The situation was not good. This was a pretty shady looking border operation and the immigration officer was scary. He informed me that the Zimbabwe visa is a full-page sticker and there was no place for it in my passport. “But Zambia said I could get a stamp instead,” I explained. Zambia lied. “Oh.” I asked what I should do. He did not know. He said I couldn’t enter Zimbabwe and could not re-enter Zambia. I guess he was proposing I live in purgatory on the bridge? At least better views than Edward Snowden had while “stuck” at the Moscow airport (yes, this thought actually went through my head at the time.) Not a bad bridge, though?Then the gravity of the situation sunk in and I did something I rarely do… I started to cry. The officer seemed pleased to see that I was appropriately concerned and told me he was going to break the law and could get fired and added that he has a family support. No guilt trip there. He then proceeded to slap the visa on top of a full page of passport stamps. Our driver seemed as relieved (as was I) and he informed me about 15 times that I’m the ‘luckiest girl on the planet.’ And, I honestly did feel that way!

Now, I knew at that point that re-entry into South Africa could be problematic, as apparently they are very strict about having blank page(s) on your passport to enter the country. There was a chance I wouldn’t be allowed to board the plane back to Cape Town and there was a chance if I did get on the plane, immigration in Cape Town would deny me entry. But both our driver and the people who worked at the hotel assured me this would not be an issue. “People in Zim are cool… they will definitely let you on the plane. And once you’re there, they aren’t going to send you back! That’s just silly. You’ll be fine.” While not completely convinced, I decided I’d just have to roll the dice at the airport and I tried to put the issue out of my head for the next two days. I was there to enjoy the Falls!

And the Falls…they are indeed absolutely spectacular and we experienced them from multiple perspectives. Our first was the aerial view from a helicopter ride. This was really cool because you can see how massive they are and we even got to see a rainbow over them from the sky. Our chopper also cruised over the surrounding savannah where we (thanks to Katy Hawk Eyes) saw groups of giraffes, elephants, zebra, and even a buffalo. Next we headed to the gorge area of the falls, which is also stunning. We zip-lined across the gorge, to make sure we were taking in the views from all angles. Our Falls viewing trifecta concluded with a tour on foot. Our guide, Musa, led us through the rain forest to 14 look-out points while explaining the history of the falls and sharing other fun facts. Here’s one for you: the water that goes over the falls in 3.5 days is the amount of water New York City uses in a year. Mucho agua! Our safari luck extended to Falls viewing and we had a beautiful rainbow backdrop for almost the entire hike. You can’t photoshop this stuff! That night we went to “the Boma” drum show for a dinner experience, where we were adorned in sarongs and given drums to participate in the show. Among the buffet food options was a station serving Mopani worms, which are a thing people eat in Southern Africa apparently. We also learned they give you a certificate if you eat one…so that decided it! (at what age does a certificate stop working as an incentive to do something?) It actually wasn’t bad and tasted sort of like chicken. It was a fantastic last night, punctuating a fantastic five days. Many thanks to Katy for planning such a fun trip!

The next day, things got administratively interesting again. We’d met a South African and American tour guide duo at our hotel and at breakfast the next day I mentioned my passport issue to them (I allowed it to enter my head again as I prepared to leave.) They weren’t quite as optimistic as the Zimbabwe natives had been and after much inspection of my passport and trouble-shooting it seemed my Cambodia visa fell off the passport page it had been inhabiting. What great timing! I mean, you could kinda see a little bit of a stamp that had gone off the edge of the visa but who would notice that? I suddenly had a whole page available!! It was like Christmas morning!A few hours later Katy and I had to say a hasty goodbye in the airport, as I was led to another back office after being denied check-in to our flight… for not having enough blank pages in my passport. Huuuuge bummer. In the back office it became clear that South African Air was not going to bend the rules, even a smidge. I was also informed that South Africa immigration had started imposing fines of $2,500 when someone arrives without two blank pages on their passport (unclear why you need two blank pages for one stamp)…. and that the fines went to the individual gate agents who checked you in, so it was personal. At that point, I stopped asking nicely for them to bend the rules. I was told my options were to buy a ticket to the U.S. (no thanks) or fly to Zimbabwe’s capitol city, Harare, to see what the U.S. embassy could do to help. I figured I’d first try another airline and hoped that maybe British Airways wouldn’t be such sticklers, so I purchased another (thankfully refundable) ticket to Cape Town… and was denied access once again. At least they’re consistent! To Harare I go… I guess. For a split second I wondered if I’d be in Zimbabwe for life. I landed in Harare and realized I had a few problems. The first being that my phone did not work on their network and there was no WiFi in the airport. I had called the embassy from the ticket office before my flight and they’d told me to call back when I landed. The second issue was transport… Zimbabwe is having a currency crisis and they only accept either U.S. dollars or their black market money, neither of which I had to pay for a cab. Big sigh. Talk about feeling stuck! I wandered into a random airline office in the tiny airport and asked if I could use their phone to call the embassy. Unfortunately their landline phone only allows calls to cell phones. Random. Lucky for me there were two gents in the office buying a ticket and one of them offered me his cell phone. He even purchased more data so I could make the call! After several attempts I got through to the embassy and was told they were closing and to come in at 8 am the next day for a temporary emergency passport. I felt a little bit better having a plan. Upon hearing my transport quandary the two guys offered to drive me to my hotel. They were THE NICEST men and I learned on the drive they are both pastors. The pastors were supposed to travel that day but their trip had been cancelled at the last minute. They told me they thought the reason it was cancelled was so that they could be there to meet me and help me out. I was not arguing with this logic and was extremely grateful. They asked me my thoughts on Trump (as most people do when I meet them during my travels.) They then informed me that Zimbabweans are big Trump supporters- which surprised me. The reason is purely religious, as Trump has been vocal about being a Christian and with his anti-Islam sentiments. Since Hilary was not vocal about these things, it’s assumed she is not a Christian and supports the spread of radical Islam (they also believe Obama is Muslim.) The pastors said that before the election there were entire church sermons devoted to praying that Trump win the election. Go figure.

My hotel was a big conference destination and it seemed normal enough. I checked in and headed to the hotel bar to use the WiFi and figure out that minor detail of how I was going to get to Cape Town. As I sat there I was approached by a few sketchy looking men and felt like they were sitting uncomfortably close to me. I messaged a few friends about how awkward it was and then proceeded to leave.

The next morning a friendly hotel guest approached me in the lobby and informed me that he and his buddies had been eating dinner in the lobby restaurant the night before and were observing me at the bar. Apparently they’d found it “hilarious” that I didn’t know I was sitting where the prostitutes sit!! They had apparently debated telling me but decided the entertainment value of my ‘Girl Uncomfortable’ show was too good. Nice, guys. Thanks a ton!

I arrived at the embassy promptly at 8 a.m. and was told the Consular wasn’t there yet and I could either come back or wait. I stood outside for an hour and she finally decided to show up. The process took a lot longer than the hour I’d been promised and I started to get nervous about my 1 p.m. flight. Finally the Consular emerged (with her Wonder Woman notebook in hand) and informed me that she had a meeting but would be back around 11:15 a.m. to finish the process. She also said she thought I would be okay with my flight. Awesome. Thankfully the Consular was true to her word and rolled back in around 11:15 a.m.* [*This time stamp is an estimate. I had to leave my phone at the front desk of the embassy and the clock on the wall had the permanent time of 7:49 and a second hand that moves in place but still makes that annoying second-hand sound.] The Consular’s first words to me at this juncture were to inform me that I look more like my passport photo from 2015 than the one I’d had taken the night before… good to know, did I mention I have a plane to catch? Thankfully, I arrived at the airport with enough time to spare and I found it slightly entertaining that after all the administrative hoopla, the immigration officer insisted on stamping my old passport (that had holes punched through it) as opposed to the new one I’d gone through so much effort to obtain. Oh well… no need to quibble, at least they let me leave this time! No complaints here.

Next up, my first South African camping trip…