Reflections after a year of traveling

It’s been almost exactly year since Teha’s Travels commenced! In fact, my very first post was on July 7, 2017, written as I was on my way to my first trip (which was an amazing vespa tour in Madrid). I’m actually still in close touch with my friends from that tour group, despite the fact that it was only a five day trip and it’s now a year later. It’s amazing, really, to think about all the people who have touched my life in incredibly profound ways over the past year. People who I didn’t know a year ago and will now know for the rest of my life. And also some people who I will likely never see again but will also never forget.

Throughout the course of my travels I’ve been asked a lot of questions, both about my thought process and the logistics behind ‘taking the plunge’ (which is exactly what it felt like). Earlier this year a British reporter asked me a series of questions for a piece she was working on. [I wonder if that was ever published, actually? I should follow-up.] Anyways, I thought she did a nice job at covering what I’m asked most frequently and I wanted to share my answers:

1. When did you decide to take a career break, and why?

I’d been working for a large consulting firm for ten years and for about a year was increasingly feeling that I wanted a change. In addition to changing jobs, I was thinking I might want to move from Washington, DC, where I’ve lived since college. But while working I didn’t feel like I was in the right head space to make those big decisions. In my gut I knew I needed a break from it all in order to step back and figure out what was next. As context, over the course of ten years with my last company I often had to be encouraged to take vacation time and at times lost vacation time that I didn’t use (and in the U.S. we don’t get a ton of vacation in the first place!). In fact, I had taken only one vacation that was longer than one week, and that was a two week break when my sister got married in Europe. I brought my work laptop home every single night and was tethered to work pretty much all the time.

I knew change would be good for me but as I contemplated what that would be, I was wary of jumping right into something else. I sensed I had lost perspective and knew I had to gain it back in order to live a more balanced and healthy life. Finally, after tossing the idea ’round for months, last June I made the decision to quit. It was probably the most difficult decision I’ve ever made. I voluntarily gave up something safe, stable, and predictable for something completely unknown. And even now, not knowing the ending yet, I can say it was also the best decision I ever made!

2. How did you go about planning your break: how far did you plan ahead, how did you raise money etc.? – did you leave your job completely or take a sabbatical?

I wish I could say I had it all planned out but that’s just not how I operate. To me, it was important to have a few key things in-place: the savings to survive for a period of time and a general travel plan. The idea of traveling by myself for months was daunting and at first that held me back from deciding to do this. I was very excited when I discovered a company called Flash Pack, that specializes in solo adventure travel for people in their 30s and 40s, and have taken six of their trips so far (with three more planned!). These trips have been great as I’ve gotten to meet and travel with so many wonderful people and to incredible places- including several places that I wouldn’t feel comfortable traveling to by myself. I’ve also made friends from all over the world and have visited several of them during my travels. This was a perk I didn’t plan on and it turned out that having a flexible approach to my travels has been a huge benefit as I’ve been able to adjust when I learn about a new place (or person) I want to visit.

3. Were you worried at any point that taking a break would put you on the back foot in terms of career progression; or did you recognise that it would actually enhance it?
Before I made the decision I did worry if it was career-suicide to quit without another job lined up and to have a gap of time in my resume when applying for a job again. I sought advice from smart people, including the CEO of my previous company where I had worked for 6 years and a senior HR representative at my current company at the time, who was also a mentor. Of the several people I confided in about my potential plan and my concerns, they all said the same thing. They all said it was the perfect time in my career to take this break and something they wished they had done at my age. Knowing my skills and my work ethic, they assured me that it would not be difficult to find another job when I wanted to (I’m hoping they are right!). In regards to the employment gap on my resume, I was told that employers these days don’t necessarily see that as a bad thing, and are more likely to respect the decision to take time off and travel. Deep down I think it’s something everyone wants to do or wishes they had done, and there is a certain amount of respect (and sometimes envy!) for those who have.

4. What did it feel like when you woke up on the first morning of your break?

This is a great question, as I honestly had no idea how I would feel after I made the decision to quit. I knew it would go one of two ways- I would wake up, freak-out, and curl up into a ball, missing the routine and safety of the life I had given up. Or I would jump out of bed and pull out my suitcase, feeling liberated and excited for the adventures that laid ahead. I felt like it could really have gone either way and I can’t even tell you how relieved I was when it was the latter! I woke up feeling like a HUGE weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I had an annual girls trip planned for that weekend and I remember reaching for my phone several times, to check my work email. It took a long time to get out of that habit. I also dreamt about work for a while, sometimes stress dreams about deadlines or projects. But the big thing I noticed that weekend was how much more present I felt and how much more ALIVE! It was clear to me then that I had made the right decision.

5. Were you daunted at all at the prospect of free time – or did it just represent delicious opportunity?
I think I answered some of this in the last question, but, yes, I was extremely daunted at first. To help provide some initial structure, I planned the next few months and included some travel, as a test run of sorts. It was summer and I had two weeks of an annual family vacation planned (the first year I would be going for the whole two weeks AND wouldn’t be checking in with work everyday) as well as a week I’d committed to volunteer at a summer camp for children who have experienced the death of a parent or sibling. I also signed up for my first Flash Pack tour (a Vespa tour in Madrid!) and added on some solo travels in Spain afterwards. I also spent some time at home, getting ready for more extensive travels at the beginning of September. This worked out perfectly as I was able to have a relaxing summer, reconnect with family and friends (as well as myself), and ease into the next phase.

5. How did you plan your time off in order to make the most of it? – where have you travelled to so far? [This answer is as of February, 2018]
The Flash Pack trips really helped me to make the most of my travels. On the first day of September, I left for Italy where I met up with a friend I had met on the Spain Flash Pack tour. She was also taking a break from work and we explored Rome, Venice, and Florence together. We then embarked on the Flash Pack tour to Croatia together (which we had actually signed up for separately!). I then continued on to France where I explored Marseille and then visited friends in Dijon. From there I returned to Italy, this time hiking in beautiful Cinque Terra and spent a few days in Milan. From there, I went on to my next FP trip to Morocco! From there I flew into Madrid, and explored more of Spain, heading up to coastal San Sebastián (where it rained but I still had fun!) I then went to Portugal where I met up with two friends from home, on a trip we had planned well before I’d decided to quit. I went from there to a FP tour of India and Nepal and then back to DC for a week. This was all over the course of two months and I appreciated the time home to rejuvenate, catch up with friends, and re-pack. Next, I did a FP tour of Chile, and headed directly on yet another FP tour of Vietnam and Cambodia. I then met up with a friend who lives Malaysia and spent a few days in Thailand before visiting a FP friend in London. I spent Christmas stateside with family and friends and then just took off on my latest junket last week. I’ve been to Stockholm, Brussels, and Prague and am currently headed (literally on the train now!) to meet up with a FP friend in Vienna. Then I’ll be going to Salzburg, Finland, London, Ireland, and on to a FP trip to Myanmar. Along the course of this six week junket I’ll be either visiting or traveling with nine friends I’ve met in various tours!

6. What’s the reaction of your friends and family been – has it mostly been positive/do people wish they could do the same?
When I decided to do this I was nervous that people would judge me and think I was being irresponsible. But the reaction I’ve gotten from literally everyone has been the exact opposite! Those who know me well have been incredibly encouraging and supportive- I suspect they all knew it would be good for me to take a break from working. But reactions from everyone from friends, mentors, former co-workers, and several extremely successful business people (some complete strangers) have been positive. Yes, I think many people wish they could do the same but instead of being bitter they have wanted to “live vicariously” through my travels. I was told this so many times that I decided to start a blog chronicling my travels as well as a dedicated Instagram account (@tehastravels). I did this just for my family and friends but have been shocked at the number of complete strangers who now follow me and encourage me along the way! In fact, soon after I began my travels I received this comment on my blog: “I don’t know you, you don’t know me. Saw your post from a mutual friend and wanted to follow. You have not disappointed. Look forward to your posts every day. I see a book in the works; your humor, suggestions and photos are wonderful. You represent a lot of women who ‘wanted to’ but never did. Be safe and keep it coming. Fondly, a 73 year old female vicarious traveler.” It made my day and I’ve continued to receive similar feedback that has been a tremendous source of inspiration.

7. Have you noticed any difference in your stress levels and overall wellbeing since taking the break?
Yes! This break has really changed the way I view the world and what is important in life. I’m a laid back person by nature but while caught up in a corporate hamster wheel I found myself getting stressed about things that were just not important at the end of the day. Now I find myself able to see what is important, both for me and even more broadly speaking. I was once in a daily work routine that I thrived on but it was very limiting. The value of my days were based on what I had accomplished, regardless of if what I had accomplished really mattered. Now I take the days as they come, make the most of them, and appreciate them for what they are, which allows me to treat my mind and body well and in a much more organic way.

8. What’s been the most surprising thing you’ve learnt from taking a career break that you perhaps didn’t expect?
While I was seeking to gain perspective during this break, I don’t think I realized quite how much of it I would be gaining. I’ve had the opportunity to experience and really immerse myself in different cultures around the world. I’ve also come to really appreciate cultural differences and also the remarkable similarities that we all have as human beings. I truly believe that most people are good people at their core and want the same general things in life, although these things are often reflected quite differently in different cultures. I feel like we tend to focus on differences between people and cultures instead of the similarities and this is a key contributor to much of the hatred and racism that plagues our society. I believe that if more people could travel more and actually get to know each other more, some of these divides would be broken down. Of course an open mind is necessary for this to happen as well!

9. Do you think the experience has helped broaden your horizons and gain perspective on life? I think I answered this.

10. Is there any financial tips you’d give to someone thinking of taking a career break (as this can often be the biggest barrier)?
I was raised to understand the value of a dollar and was eager to start working as soon as I could. At first it was raking neighbors’ leaves or shoveling snow for a few dollars an hour (I was a bargain)! I feel lucky that my parents instilled these values in me and I’ve carried them throughout my life, always making an effort to save money. I think it’s because I value working hard and making a living, l that I was still able to take a break from it. I never lived above my means and have been able to differentiate between what I want and need. And also those times when something is so important that the cost should not play a factor at all. When saving, I always found it helpful to have a portion of my paycheck automatically put into a savings account, so I would never see it and would almost forget it was there. I also think it’s important to approach saving in small chunks- a savings goal may seem insurmountable and not even worth trying for, but if broken down into a certain amount of money every two weeks or month, you can get there with time. Professionally speaking, and especially as a female, I think it’s so important to know your worth and believe in yourself enough to have difficult conversations about salary. Too often I see females making less than their male counter-parts, and partially because they aren’t asking for what they deserve. It’s easy to stay in your same job and rely on a small annual increase but true gains are made by pushing yourself to add more value, prove that value, and ask for the compensation that you fairly deserve. Lastly, when looking to take a break and travel, I think it’s important to recalibrate your spending. For example, I cancelled my cable, even though it would be nice to watch TV when I’m home every few months. I make coffee in the mornings now and can’t tell you the last time I was at a Starbucks. And while traveling, I try to resist going into “vacation mode” all the time, avoiding the mentality where you splurge on things you wouldn’t normally, just because you aren’t at home. This is not to say I’m depriving myself by any means, but I’m thoughtful about how I spend my money, knowing I have a limited amount of it.

11. What would you say to someone who’s thinking of taking a break but scared of taking their foot off the gas/falling off the career ladder?
I would tell someone considering a career break to not let fear hold them back. Yes, you need to make sure the timing works for you, both career-wise and financially. But, beyond that, we are all only on this earth for a short time, during which we only have so many opportunities to explore it. I will say that of the many older, more experienced, and successful people I’ve sought advice from about this, not one of them said they wished they’d worked more. Not one. Yet, several of them said they’d wished they’d taken breaks to explore and go on adventures that were impossible once they retired and had bad knees.

Also, we don’t live in a society where you work for one company for 30 years. Things are different now and to have just a few jobs or even just a few careers is now the exception, not the norm. Employers want to hire people who are naturally curious and not afraid to take calculated risks, both in their professional and personal lives. So please don’t let fear of how taking a break will be perceived keep you from doing it!

Key West tomfoolery

I survived my flight back to DC, mystery “Chinese herbal remedy” and all. It turned out that my parents were in town that weekend, visiting grandkids, and my sister-in-law had the great idea that I surprise them! So, I LIED to my parents about my return date from Thailand and even BLOCKED them from viewing my Instagram story (I was never this sneaky in high school, I swear!). My eight-year old nephew, Jack, even kept the surprise, although apparently he mentioned several times how much fun it would be if I was there and had many questions about the delivery time of a mysterious Amazon package he was expecting. Nevertheless, they both looked utterly shocked and, of course, my mom shed a few tears. Here we are, reunited!

It’s a tad ironic that my next trip was one that was planned almost a full YEAR ago, especially as I think about how many trips I’ve taken between then and now that I hadn’t yet planned on at that time (or in the 6-10 months that followed). So, as context, every June for the past five years a group of us girls take a fantastic long weekend trip to a different and always amazing destination, and the boys from the same group try to do the same but seem to get their act together only every few years or so. Yours truly excluded, most of the group has known each other since living in the Adams Morgan neighborhood in their roaring 20s but people have dispersed a bit since then (some all the way to the suburbs!). I’m not sure how I didn’t meet this crew way back when, but I get the sense that whatever I was doing at the time was less fun than what they had going on. Anyways, I managed to squirm my way into the group later on and just in time for the inaugural girl’s trip (Vegas baby!). So, fast-forward to this year which was a monumental birthday of sorts for a few of us and we decided to throw the guys a bone and allow a combo girls-guys trip. I was really pushing for a cruise but suspected if I “got my way” I would be the only one on the ship. After much discussion, we decided on Key West, Florida. I’d been twice before (once for the millennial New Years celebration!) and found something innately ‘happy place’ about the vibe there. So, I quickly stopped lamenting my lack of cruise-going friends, as I knew a good time was guaranteed in Key West- and here we are!! [Please ignore the stone faced guy in the forefront. Han is smiling inside, I’m sure!]

img_17414103403934971142589.jpgThere were lucky 13 of us in the group and despite the fact that many of us were coming from the DC area, we seemed to all be on different flights, at different times, and with different connections. I’m pretty sure we had every flight of the day covered. However, while texting the group during my layover in Fort Lauderdale, I realized that two of “us” (Linda and Han) were at the Chili’s just down from the Margaritaville where I had hunkered down. And it was a pleasant surprise to learn that we were on the same flight for final leg of our journey (on a tiny propeller plane that was about 100 degrees- but at least we had each other)! Han was obviously thrilled (cue his happy face!) that he could sit next to Linda and I as we blabbed away, catching up on life.

We all connected at our Air BnB that consisted of five villas with a cute courtyard area and little pool. It was totally Melrose Place and I totally loved it (despite no Andrew Shue to be found).

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After enjoying a few (self-provided) welcome drinks a few of my comrades announced they were headed to the “turtle races” that were allegedly happening near the pier area. Impromptu adventure? Yes, please! There, we hung out at a fun bar and saw a beautiful sunset. (Yes, that would be a blow-up penis above my head. You see a lot of those in Key West!)

mvimg_20180622_1855338569140371326880490.jpgWe also participated in the most bizarre turtle race betting process EVER (okay, I have no other turtle race betting process to compare it to but I stand firm in my supposition). Basically, how it works is everyone gets a piece of paper with a 1, 2, or 3 on it and you can win a prize (cash money!) if your turtle wins. But there are only 3 turtles and we have multiple pieces of paper in circulation for each number…so there must be a lot of winners? Like most things that seem too good to be true, it was (funny how I’m such an eternal optimist but I still believe in that saying). Anyways, first was the main event, the turtle dash, and it lasted about 30 seconds- those turtles have some wheels!

Then, those who had the number of the winning turtle (including lucky me!) got to line up in a loooong line and, one-by-one, tell the microphone wielding gent (who looks not dissimilar to a square dance officiant) their name and select a number from a board. Next step: lining up AGAIN, to see the same guy and this time trade your number for a key with that number on it. THEN, the real excitement starts as (with square dance enthusiasm) the officiant hypes up each person’s attempt to use their key to open magic mystery treasure chest that could (but everyone heard does) contain $500! I’d grown completely sick of this by now and had zero intention of joining a third looooong line (fool me twice…). Despite being a quitter I enjoyed watching everyone else get in line AGAIN and then finally get to the front and turn their key soooo expectedly, only to realize that (spoiler alert) they actually do not have the key that opens the magic treasure chest!! Awww, shucks! Huge blow. Every.single.time. I also saw that some ‘randomly’ selected contestants (it seemed anyone who attempted a rapport with the officiant) were offered a consolation prize in exchange for forfeiting their turn of the key. Over and over again I watched every person who was given this offer say “no way” to the consolation prize option! Really?? Again, I’m not a cynical person but something just seemed off with the whole operation. I got distracted socializing (story of my life) and later turned around to see the final line was at its end. I alerted Han (another cynical hold-out) and we both shrugged and jumped behind the few people left waiting with their keys. Thanks to much cheering by our friends and rapport-making by us, we were both given the opportunity to re-affirm our belief that WE had the winning key and that we did NOT want the consolation prize we were being offered. So, to sum it up, Han won a tank-top, I won a $20 gift certificate and nobody else there won anything, because nobody’s key worked. That’s right, over the course of hours of lines and dozens keys, not ONE of them worked (not even Han and I’s, which they tried anyways in hopes we’d be proven the ultimate, risk-averse fools). All in all it was the silliest contest ever- they should have just had the turtles race a few more times and called it a day. But as the person leaving with $20, and a new tank-top (a gift from Han), who am I to complain?

The turtle racing crew had worked up an appetite by this time and came across a little shack looking restaurant across the street, called BO’s Fish Wagon (actually I’m pretty sure someone in the group did some research but it felt like we just randomly ended up there). They had the MOST AMAZING fish tacos and I highly recommend seeking this spot out if you find yourself in Key West.

The next morning I woke up late, just as the bike ride/ jet-ski crew was about to depart and I wasted zero time joining their bandwagon. We rented bikes, which is an excellent way to get around the small island of Key West and especially if you want to go to their one beach. If you don’t know the island you may be expecting tons of beaches but there is really only one and it’s even part of a National Park (so a little set-back from the main area). It’s a nice beach with clear blue water and well-worth the short bike ride!

We then headed to our jet ski adventure. I love myself a good adrenaline rush but had never used a jet-ski so wasn’t sure what to expect. Here’s the jet-ski crew:img_20180623_1512048919012082481437751.jpgIt was SOOOO much fun!!! It reminded me a lot of the snowmobiling that I’d enjoyed in Finland (which is odd if you think about the two things I’m comparing) but once you get going fast on the jet ski and focus on following the wake of the person in front you, it feels a lot like zooming through a path in the snow. And almost just as exhilarating! Due to an ominous lightning storm (I did my very best big girl face to try to ignore it) we couldn’t circle the entire island as planned, but I was quite happy keeping my jet-ski full throttle (at a whole 40 mph) and doing donuts in the Gulf, with a few stops to cool off in the water.

img_54609124648872145643025.jpgThat night we enjoyed a birthday dinner of sorts and some cavorting around town. Cavorting can cover a large swath in Key West and, while we were mostly well-behaved, every morning we enjoyed sharing stories about the interesting people we’d met and (sometimes even more interesting) things we’d seen.

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Key West has no shortage of personalities, that’s for sure…we fit right in!

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The next morning was brunch at a Key West must-see restaurant, Blue Heaven, which is  a local staple for its delicious food, live music, and copious amounts of character. I highly recommend.

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img_20180624_1343107165638841725263042.jpgWe then meandered around the colorful, music infused streets for a while (some may have napped), and took in the must-see sights.

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Maker:S,Date:2017-8-23,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-Y
Maker:S,Date:2017-8-23,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-Y

We then reconnected for a sunset boat cruise (with snorkeling!).

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img_20180624_1957452673143354929823434.jpgMy towel-boyfriend, Pedro even made the trip, and was actually very popular!

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This was followed up (yes, it was a packed day!) with another delicious dinner, where I had the most fabulous, perfectly cooked (rare) tuna skewers. Our final night consisted of some bonding in the courtyard…have I mentioned I love the courtyard concept? There was just something so comforting knowing anytime you wanted to wander out to the courtyard there would be some combination of your 13 friends out there, most likely with a chilled bottle of rose and an extra glass. It was kind of like seeing a mirage every time!

The next morning Sarah and I headed out earlier than most of the crew, as we’d (inadvertently, of course) booked the same flight home. We checked in with plenty o’ time to spare in the tiny Key West airport (we probably would have had time to spare in most airports, actually). There was nobody in the airport or the security line and I sent this pic to our friends, telling them there was no need to rush to get there early for their flights.

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Then, our trip home took a twist. We liked the looks of the one restaurant OUTSIDE security [FATAL FLAW] and then our flight was delayed and we thought we could take our time [CONFOUNDING VARIABLE] and then, while eating breakfast, the non-existent security line had gotten almost as long as the turtle race betting line(s) [UNFORTUNATE CIRCUMSTANCE]…and you can guess what happened next. Once we saw that our gate was closed, Sarah did not miss a beat in turning to tell me “this is going to be an expensive mistake.” And, she was not entirely incorrect, but we now both agree it was the BEST MISTAKE EVER! Thankfully Sarah is like me in that she can quickly appreciate the lemonade from the lemons…and then go make a ton of friends to drink it with. We meandered into the gate area (there’s only one) and hung out there for a while, greeting all of our friends as they trickled in for their respective flights.

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During this time, Sarah dealt with Jet Blue on the phone (for approx 20 minutes) and learned she had to PAY for a flight out the next morning. This was unfortunate but I guess that’s how it works when you fly out of a small airport and are dealing with subsidiary airlines? It took me a full 2 hours and 20 minutes on the phone with Expedia, (aka the online travel agency I plan to never use again) to be informed that I would also have to pay to be rebooked for the next day. However, the only flight they could offer me was a two-layover, 15-hour journey, for $795. Was I flying from Beijing?? I took a veeeery deep breath, not-so-politely declined their office, and told Sarah we should move on with our day (later, once I recovered from this excessive hold situation, I booked a normally priced, normal travel-time flight on my own). We selected our hotel based on the recommendation from the airport staff, who we’d gotten to know fairly well by this time in the day. The Marker is great! It’s newish, full of character, and has three pools (!!!) We spent the afternoon at one pool, feeling no need to explore the other two. Did I mention this was the best mistake ever??

In the pool we met new friends, including ‘the family,’ which consisted of a couple from southern California, vacationing with their 12-year-old daughter and her best friend. The “he” of the couple has been coming to Key West for 25 years and the “she” is only at 19 years, but has equal enthusiasm for the place. They are a ton of fun and definitely love themselves some Key West! And the two girls are confident and articulate young women, who don’t seem to mind hanging out with adults. They gave both Sarah and I lot of hope for future generations. We ended up joining ‘the family’ that night for lobster mac’ n’ cheese at a REALLY fantastic restaurant named the Flaming Buoy. ‘The family’ are big fans of this place, they goes every year and are now friends with the owners. The daughter even has has her height chronicled on the front porch post, with notches from every year since she was two years-old! I know I’ve blabbed on about other restaurants, and overall the food really is amazing in Key West, but the Flaming Buoy really is THE BEST. The owners are talented and welcoming fellow nerds (except the kind who have seen Star Wars). They have a hilarious social media presence and are currently both bewildered and amused (bemused?) that somehow their restaurant was mistaken on social media platforms as the Virginia-based restaurant where Sarah Huckabee Saunders was recently denied service, the Red Hen. I mean, flames are red, so maybe that’s where the name confusion came from? So random.

Anyways, Sarah and I had the best bonus day ever, and all because we missed our flight!

img_20180622_2009357754664895795623492.jpgAt one point I thought maybe missing my flight and having such a great day was a SIGN that I should live in Key West! It does seem to take a special breed to be a Key West transplant and there’s not a lot of people who know me who question that, if nothing else, a special breed I am! Maybe someday in the future. But for now, the SIGN and all, it was back to DC for more unpacking and re-packing…stay tuned!