I survived my flight back to DC, mystery “Chinese herbal remedy” and all. It turned out that my parents were in town that weekend, visiting grandkids, and my sister-in-law had the great idea that I surprise them! So, I LIED to my parents about my return date from Thailand and even BLOCKED them from viewing my Instagram story (I was never this sneaky in high school, I swear!). My eight-year old nephew, Jack, even kept the surprise, although apparently he mentioned several times how much fun it would be if I was there and had many questions about the delivery time of a mysterious Amazon package he was expecting. Nevertheless, they both looked utterly shocked and, of course, my mom shed a few tears. Here we are, reunited!
It’s a tad ironic that my next trip was one that was planned almost a full YEAR ago, especially as I think about how many trips I’ve taken between then and now that I hadn’t yet planned on at that time (or in the 6-10 months that followed). So, as context, every June for the past five years a group of us girls take a fantastic long weekend trip to a different and always amazing destination, and the boys from the same group try to do the same but seem to get their act together only every few years or so. Yours truly excluded, most of the group has known each other since living in the Adams Morgan neighborhood in their roaring 20s but people have dispersed a bit since then (some all the way to the suburbs!). I’m not sure how I didn’t meet this crew way back when, but I get the sense that whatever I was doing at the time was less fun than what they had going on. Anyways, I managed to squirm my way into the group later on and just in time for the inaugural girl’s trip (Vegas baby!). So, fast-forward to this year which was a monumental birthday of sorts for a few of us and we decided to throw the guys a bone and allow a combo girls-guys trip. I was really pushing for a cruise but suspected if I “got my way” I would be the only one on the ship. After much discussion, we decided on Key West, Florida. I’d been twice before (once for the millennial New Years celebration!) and found something innately ‘happy place’ about the vibe there. So, I quickly stopped lamenting my lack of cruise-going friends, as I knew a good time was guaranteed in Key West- and here we are!! [Please ignore the stone faced guy in the forefront. Han is smiling inside, I’m sure!]
There were lucky 13 of us in the group and despite the fact that many of us were coming from the DC area, we seemed to all be on different flights, at different times, and with different connections. I’m pretty sure we had every flight of the day covered. However, while texting the group during my layover in Fort Lauderdale, I realized that two of “us” (Linda and Han) were at the Chili’s just down from the Margaritaville where I had hunkered down. And it was a pleasant surprise to learn that we were on the same flight for final leg of our journey (on a tiny propeller plane that was about 100 degrees- but at least we had each other)! Han was obviously thrilled (cue his happy face!) that he could sit next to Linda and I as we blabbed away, catching up on life.
We all connected at our Air BnB that consisted of five villas with a cute courtyard area and little pool. It was totally Melrose Place and I totally loved it (despite no Andrew Shue to be found).
After enjoying a few (self-provided) welcome drinks a few of my comrades announced they were headed to the “turtle races” that were allegedly happening near the pier area. Impromptu adventure? Yes, please! There, we hung out at a fun bar and saw a beautiful sunset. (Yes, that would be a blow-up penis above my head. You see a lot of those in Key West!)
We also participated in the most bizarre turtle race betting process EVER (okay, I have no other turtle race betting process to compare it to but I stand firm in my supposition). Basically, how it works is everyone gets a piece of paper with a 1, 2, or 3 on it and you can win a prize (cash money!) if your turtle wins. But there are only 3 turtles and we have multiple pieces of paper in circulation for each number…so there must be a lot of winners? Like most things that seem too good to be true, it was (funny how I’m such an eternal optimist but I still believe in that saying). Anyways, first was the main event, the turtle dash, and it lasted about 30 seconds- those turtles have some wheels!
Then, those who had the number of the winning turtle (including lucky me!) got to line up in a loooong line and, one-by-one, tell the microphone wielding gent (who looks not dissimilar to a square dance officiant) their name and select a number from a board. Next step: lining up AGAIN, to see the same guy and this time trade your number for a key with that number on it. THEN, the real excitement starts as (with square dance enthusiasm) the officiant hypes up each person’s attempt to use their key to open magic mystery treasure chest that could (but everyone heard does) contain $500! I’d grown completely sick of this by now and had zero intention of joining a third looooong line (fool me twice…). Despite being a quitter I enjoyed watching everyone else get in line AGAIN and then finally get to the front and turn their key soooo expectedly, only to realize that (spoiler alert) they actually do not have the key that opens the magic treasure chest!! Awww, shucks! Huge blow. Every.single.time. I also saw that some ‘randomly’ selected contestants (it seemed anyone who attempted a rapport with the officiant) were offered a consolation prize in exchange for forfeiting their turn of the key. Over and over again I watched every person who was given this offer say “no way” to the consolation prize option! Really?? Again, I’m not a cynical person but something just seemed off with the whole operation. I got distracted socializing (story of my life) and later turned around to see the final line was at its end. I alerted Han (another cynical hold-out) and we both shrugged and jumped behind the few people left waiting with their keys. Thanks to much cheering by our friends and rapport-making by us, we were both given the opportunity to re-affirm our belief that WE had the winning key and that we did NOT want the consolation prize we were being offered. So, to sum it up, Han won a tank-top, I won a $20 gift certificate and nobody else there won anything, because nobody’s key worked. That’s right, over the course of hours of lines and dozens keys, not ONE of them worked (not even Han and I’s, which they tried anyways in hopes we’d be proven the ultimate, risk-averse fools). All in all it was the silliest contest ever- they should have just had the turtles race a few more times and called it a day. But as the person leaving with $20, and a new tank-top (a gift from Han), who am I to complain?
The turtle racing crew had worked up an appetite by this time and came across a little shack looking restaurant across the street, called BO’s Fish Wagon (actually I’m pretty sure someone in the group did some research but it felt like we just randomly ended up there). They had the MOST AMAZING fish tacos and I highly recommend seeking this spot out if you find yourself in Key West.
The next morning I woke up late, just as the bike ride/ jet-ski crew was about to depart and I wasted zero time joining their bandwagon. We rented bikes, which is an excellent way to get around the small island of Key West and especially if you want to go to their one beach. If you don’t know the island you may be expecting tons of beaches but there is really only one and it’s even part of a National Park (so a little set-back from the main area). It’s a nice beach with clear blue water and well-worth the short bike ride!
We then headed to our jet ski adventure. I love myself a good adrenaline rush but had never used a jet-ski so wasn’t sure what to expect. Here’s the jet-ski crew:
It was SOOOO much fun!!! It reminded me a lot of the snowmobiling that I’d enjoyed in Finland (which is odd if you think about the two things I’m comparing) but once you get going fast on the jet ski and focus on following the wake of the person in front you, it feels a lot like zooming through a path in the snow. And almost just as exhilarating! Due to an ominous lightning storm (I did my very best big girl face to try to ignore it) we couldn’t circle the entire island as planned, but I was quite happy keeping my jet-ski full throttle (at a whole 40 mph) and doing donuts in the Gulf, with a few stops to cool off in the water.
That night we enjoyed a birthday dinner of sorts and some cavorting around town. Cavorting can cover a large swath in Key West and, while we were mostly well-behaved, every morning we enjoyed sharing stories about the interesting people we’d met and (sometimes even more interesting) things we’d seen.
Key West has no shortage of personalities, that’s for sure…we fit right in!
The next morning was brunch at a Key West must-see restaurant, Blue Heaven, which is a local staple for its delicious food, live music, and copious amounts of character. I highly recommend.
We then meandered around the colorful, music infused streets for a while (some may have napped), and took in the must-see sights.
We then reconnected for a sunset boat cruise (with snorkeling!).
My towel-boyfriend, Pedro even made the trip, and was actually very popular!
This was followed up (yes, it was a packed day!) with another delicious dinner, where I had the most fabulous, perfectly cooked (rare) tuna skewers. Our final night consisted of some bonding in the courtyard…have I mentioned I love the courtyard concept? There was just something so comforting knowing anytime you wanted to wander out to the courtyard there would be some combination of your 13 friends out there, most likely with a chilled bottle of rose and an extra glass. It was kind of like seeing a mirage every time!
The next morning Sarah and I headed out earlier than most of the crew, as we’d (inadvertently, of course) booked the same flight home. We checked in with plenty o’ time to spare in the tiny Key West airport (we probably would have had time to spare in most airports, actually). There was nobody in the airport or the security line and I sent this pic to our friends, telling them there was no need to rush to get there early for their flights.
Then, our trip home took a twist. We liked the looks of the one restaurant OUTSIDE security [FATAL FLAW] and then our flight was delayed and we thought we could take our time [CONFOUNDING VARIABLE] and then, while eating breakfast, the non-existent security line had gotten almost as long as the turtle race betting line(s) [UNFORTUNATE CIRCUMSTANCE]…and you can guess what happened next. Once we saw that our gate was closed, Sarah did not miss a beat in turning to tell me “this is going to be an expensive mistake.” And, she was not entirely incorrect, but we now both agree it was the BEST MISTAKE EVER! Thankfully Sarah is like me in that she can quickly appreciate the lemonade from the lemons…and then go make a ton of friends to drink it with. We meandered into the gate area (there’s only one) and hung out there for a while, greeting all of our friends as they trickled in for their respective flights.
During this time, Sarah dealt with Jet Blue on the phone (for approx 20 minutes) and learned she had to PAY for a flight out the next morning. This was unfortunate but I guess that’s how it works when you fly out of a small airport and are dealing with subsidiary airlines? It took me a full 2 hours and 20 minutes on the phone with Expedia, (aka the online travel agency I plan to never use again) to be informed that I would also have to pay to be rebooked for the next day. However, the only flight they could offer me was a two-layover, 15-hour journey, for $795. Was I flying from Beijing?? I took a veeeery deep breath, not-so-politely declined their office, and told Sarah we should move on with our day (later, once I recovered from this excessive hold situation, I booked a normally priced, normal travel-time flight on my own). We selected our hotel based on the recommendation from the airport staff, who we’d gotten to know fairly well by this time in the day. The Marker is great! It’s newish, full of character, and has three pools (!!!) We spent the afternoon at one pool, feeling no need to explore the other two. Did I mention this was the best mistake ever??
In the pool we met new friends, including ‘the family,’ which consisted of a couple from southern California, vacationing with their 12-year-old daughter and her best friend. The “he” of the couple has been coming to Key West for 25 years and the “she” is only at 19 years, but has equal enthusiasm for the place. They are a ton of fun and definitely love themselves some Key West! And the two girls are confident and articulate young women, who don’t seem to mind hanging out with adults. They gave both Sarah and I lot of hope for future generations. We ended up joining ‘the family’ that night for lobster mac’ n’ cheese at a REALLY fantastic restaurant named the Flaming Buoy. ‘The family’ are big fans of this place, they goes every year and are now friends with the owners. The daughter even has has her height chronicled on the front porch post, with notches from every year since she was two years-old! I know I’ve blabbed on about other restaurants, and overall the food really is amazing in Key West, but the Flaming Buoy really is THE BEST. The owners are talented and welcoming fellow nerds (except the kind who have seen Star Wars). They have a hilarious social media presence and are currently both bewildered and amused (bemused?) that somehow their restaurant was mistaken on social media platforms as the Virginia-based restaurant where Sarah Huckabee Saunders was recently denied service, the Red Hen. I mean, flames are red, so maybe that’s where the name confusion came from? So random.
Anyways, Sarah and I had the best bonus day ever, and all because we missed our flight!
At one point I thought maybe missing my flight and having such a great day was a SIGN that I should live in Key West! It does seem to take a special breed to be a Key West transplant and there’s not a lot of people who know me who question that, if nothing else, a special breed I am! Maybe someday in the future. But for now, the SIGN and all, it was back to DC for more unpacking and re-packing…stay tuned!
At least they put me up in the Sheraton which is located just a tunnel away from the terminal. There I joined a room full of other Lufthansa passengers in a large conference room for our comp’d dinner of turkey and mashed potatoes. Kind of like Thanksgiving, and many people looked about as happy to be there as they would at their disfunctional family’s holiday dinner tables. Unfortunately I was faced with another snafu the next morning as we were delayed leaving Frankfurt and I missed my connection in Munich. Argh!!! I had a five hour wait for the next flight and took out the trusty old iPad to troubleshoot how I would get to THE DOLOMITES, having missed the one bus of the day. I mean, I could always rent a car. But I hate driving. But… it’s THE DOLOMITES!! And your options are veeeerrrry limited. Here’s what I saw of Munich- it looks lovely and I’ll have to go back under different circumstances. 
I FINALLY landed and set out to claim my rental car, dragging a lil’ bit from my 36+ hour journey at this point. The kind woman at Thrifty must have noticed I wasn’t exactly in the jolliest of moods and upgraded me from Bare Bones Fiat to Pimped Out Audi (to be referred to as POA from this point forward). Here she is: 
My mood buoyed slightly… I was off with a sweet ride! The two-hour drive to Cortina was beautiful, despite increasing patches of fog and rain as I got deeper into the mountains (on mostly winding two-lane roads). 
I checked into my accommodation and the proprietor pointed out the four restaurants I could choose from. He said they all close at 9pm as it’s a “sleepy mountain town” this time of year. Hmmm… based on Trip Advisor, I’d thought Cortina had more going on than this? And where were those mountains I was supposed to be able to see from my window?
The rain was really coming down now and it was already 8 p.m. so I motored to the closest restaurant, a pizzeria next door. There were only a few tables occupied and I was seated at a table next to another solo diner, a gent who looked about my age. I wasn’t sure how to sit as I thought facing him directly would be kind of awkward, almost like were at the same table, but with my back to him seemed rude. I compromised and sat at kind of an angle, half-facing him (which in hindsight was probably more awkward than either of the alternatives). I got bored pretty quickly sitting there by myself (and with no phone decoy) and soon we made eye contact and a conversation naturally commenced. Okay, okay I’ll be honest, chances are that I was the one who struck up the conversation… I don’t exactly have a healthy fear of chatting with strangers (as reported in the British rag, The Daily Mail, 
I caught up on some correspondence and other life administrivia that has fallen by the way-side and thank goodness for my Cortina boyfriend, as I would have really gone bonkers without Christoph (both for his company and validation that I’m not a total idiot for making this mistake). He had scoped out the adorable ski town during his time there, and toured me to his favorite spots (of the handful that were open). 
Gotta love an iPad selfie attempt! Christoph also speaks ‘nerd’ so we geeked out discussing things like China’s advances in the innovation arena and how this impacts their global positioning. The next morning brought some sunlight (!!!) and I could actually see the mountains that I would not be hiking. 
No matter, I hopped in my POA and headed to my ultimate destination- the mythical Ortesei. I spent the next 2.5 hours driving through winding mountain passes…it was INCREDIBLE! And included some extremely variable (and equally beautiful) scenery.
For the first time in my life I LOVED driving… a LOT. I think I figured out that my problem with driving in the past is that I’ve been operating average-to-below-average cars and have had average-to-below-average-views, AND have had to deal with pesky things…like stoplights and speed limits. Driving POA through THE DOLOMITES is a different experience entirely. 
It also occurred to me that when I’d booked my hotel in Ortesei I’d assumed there were only a few available because they were all full of hikers like myself, but I now suspected it was prolly because they were also still closed. And… I was correct. It was just salt in the wound when I learned that the mountains in Ortesei were opening for hiking the VERY day I was leaving. Of course they were! Regardless, I loved the family owned mountain lodge where I stayed. The views were totes amaze and they even had some footpaths where I could fake-hike. I was a happy camper.
It was pretty spectacular as far as fake hiking goes and I zoomed off for hours, happy to be moving after days of sitting (something I do not handle well). More views: 
After fake-hiking for much of the day, I took POA out for a spin in the mountains. That’s right… a drive just to drive, with no destination. Driver’s ed was the last time I did that! Then I was off to the airport, not sad it was 3.5 hours away and I savored my final moments with POA. As I drove I reflected on how my Dolomites experience had not been what I’d envisioned at the outset but it had definitely been an adventure and, all in all, one I really enjoyed! I got to make a few new friends, take in some incredible beauty, and, of course, there’s my new love affair with driving. I was glad the many snafus throughout the course of the journey hadn’t kept me from maintaining a (mostly) positive outlook and being open to whatever experiences presented themselves, as they were pretty cool ones! Next up… gobble, gobble!
And my tour group crew stuck around for the late night showing that evening, to be rewarded with the elephant act.
And, I’m sure they’ll all have a grand time on the second leg… I just don’t want to hear about it! (#earmuffs) Where I’m headed next is still a smidge of a mystery, even to me, so there’s a lot to stay tuned for!
I admit I was a smidge embarrassed showing up to the camping trip with my rollerboard suitcase and not a smidge of camping gear but the group kindly outfitted me with anything I might need. There was so much gear that we barely fit! 
And, not being the most experienced camper, even some things I didn’t know that I needed- such as the stake you put in the ground to hold your wine glass while sitting in your camping chair. What a novel idea! 
I learned quickly that Jamie and her friends are the consummate camping hosts – they are not fooling around. Jamie’s boyfriend Eric and his friend, Hennie, met in the Navy years ago and you can tell by the military precision they bring to the camping experience. They really think of everything! Hennie even had a kitchen gazebo that includes a solar powered refrigerator. I’ll be honest that I thought of camping food as either those freeze dried meals they sell at REI or spearing a hot dog with a stick and roasting it over a fire, so I wasn’t really sure what the kitchen would be used for. Little did I know what culinary delights my consummate camping hosts had in store for me! You may recall that on my South Africa tour we were treated to a traditional South African “braai,” which is their version of a BBQ (or ‘cook-out’ as we say in Massachusetts) and it’s also a verb for the act of grilling as well as the name of the grill device. 
Btw, there are no propane tanks involved in this process and the food is cooked over flame. Eric was Braai Master and was in charge of seasoning and cooking delicious meat items at every meal. I swear the chicken he made one night is the best chicken I have EVER had in my life. My mom is always up for a cooking challenge so I’m thinking of passing along the recipe to see if she can even come close. Sans braai I’m pretty sure it’s impossible, though, and I hate to set her up for failure. Here’s Braai Master in action: 
Eric’s skills did not stop with the chicken- we had pork, beef, sausages, crawfish (same as lobster but with no claws), BACON, and even sides such as cous cous. 
It occurred to me how much more of an adventurous eater my travels had made me (the Mopane worm included!) and I remembered that when I embarked on my first Flash Pack tour (last July) I listed in my profile that I didn’t eat red meat. Now the guides of my tours look confused when they see that notation on their spreadsheet as I’m gnawing on a rib right in front of them. Hennie also brought a cooking tool called a potjie, which is essentially a Dutch oven on three legs that is used as an outdoor crockpot, and made a delicious beef stew (called potjiekos) that included dumplings he’d made from scratch in the kitchen gazebo. I kid you not. 
Now I had also envisioned camping as taking place in the woods and was soooo pleasantly surprised that our accommodations overlooked the beautiful, rocky coastline of the Western Cape (as they call it.) It was absolutely stunning, and was punctuated by breathing in the fresh sea air and lulling to sleep to the sound of the waves crashing. 
So, I’m a big fan of having ambient noise in the background while sleeping and have an old fashioned “sound machine” at home that I’ve had since I was a little (don’t mock me, that’s been done already). When traveling I discovered the White Noise app on my phone and I have worked hard to find the perfectly pitched noise among the options (it’s called “brown noise,” if you’re interested). Nothing will ever compare to nature’s white noise, though.
You may have noticed that I did not list fish as one of our many braai delicacies and this was not for lack of trying. Jamie and Eric have pretty official-like fishing rods and we tried our luck from the rocks, using fresh mussels as bait. Jamie caught a rockfish right away (that we threw back) …and THEN (after catching a few rocks and thinking I had snared “the big one”) I reeled in a real-live fish! 
Some kiddos and their dad’s (our campsite neighbors) had joined us to view the fishing at this point. We all watched in anticipation as I reeled in what would hopefully be dinner. 
And then we all looked (with a combination of intrigue and horror) at the most ghastly Creature of the Sea any of us have ever seen! We agreed it was actually the ugliest fish alive- some kind of bottom feeder with creepy teeth. 
Back to the sea you go! We’ll stick with meat, thanks very much.
My favorite part of the camping trip, though, was sitting around the fire talking with the group and new friends we met at the campground. 
It was fascinating to learn more about South Africa and the locals’ perspectives on their history, the current political climate and the culture in general. From what I gathered the government can be summed up in one word- corrupt. All the South Africans I met agreed that it was a very good thing that Jacob Zuma was finally forced out as President (having remained in power through countless charges of crimes including corruption and rape, and nine votes of no confidence by Parliament… it was finally his own party who drove him out.) And while people don’t seem totally psyched about the new guy (Cyril Ramaphosa) their relief is palpable that at least Zuma is gone and there is a glimmer of hope for the future. For his part, Ramaphosa has vowed to tackle the government’s corruption issues, so that’s something, in as at least it’s admitting the issues exist. And with the nation’s economy in the tanker and a 30% unemployment rate the stakes are high as the nation seeks to project stability and encourage investment dollars. Interesting times here in South Africa and a lot of questions about what the future will bring.
We honed in on a mother and son leopard duo during our first game drive and were lucky to be able to follow them in the subsequent drives. We even saw them on “a killing spree” that included a rabbit the mama leopard offed just inches away from us, and we then watched her take it up a tree to store it! Minutes later a dead impala (kind of like a smaller deer) was discovered stored in another tree! Then an antelope corpse was found… all the work of the leopards. You could tell by looking at them that their bellies were very full. 
We had a scare on one game drive as we were observing our leopard friends hanging out in the impala-storage tree, munching on their kill, when out of nowhere a mean male leopard pounced into the tree!! The more experienced mother took that as her cue to exit the tree but the cub freaked out and ran out to the end of a limb, where he perched nervously- not knowing what to do. The poor little guy was so scared he defecated from out on the limb! The male leopard proceeded to go at it, gnawing away at the impala, and in the process attracted several feisty hyenas who stood below seeking scraps (they even eat the bones– apparently hyenas eat anything.) Meanwhile, the mother leopard crouched in the tall grass observing the scene. The game drive ended before we could see the outcome of the scary scene but Geoff said the cub would “probably be okay” if he chilled out on his limb for a bit and waited for mean male leopard to leave. We were DYING to know what had happened and were extremely relieved on the next morning’s drive when we saw mother and son cruising around together, seemingly unscathed. Phew! We’d definitely grown attached.
I was very lucky to have Katy as my safari-mate as (in addition to being a lot of fun) she has a real camera and takes great pictures AND she has insane animal tracking skills. I swear the lodge wanted to hire her. To be fair, they seemed to think the two of us had brought crazy-luck to their game drives as every one we were on was phenomenal! We were also told our game drives had unusual and unprecedented sightings- such as the leopard serial killing spree. Katy, though, is a human pair of binoculars. She could spot anything, no matter how far away AND correctly ID the animal. It was uncanny. Of course, at times the animals were so scarily close that a legally blind person could probably have made them out. 
We said good-bye to our new friends (the amazing staff) at the Safari Lodge- Geoff, Tanya, Jade, and Johann and moved onward to our next destination… Zimbabwe! Specifically, Victoria Falls which is the largest waterfall in the world and one of the seven natural wonders. As background, the Falls border the countries of Zambia and Zimbabwe and apparently views are great on both sides…but we were headed to the larger viewing area in Zim. So, my first inkling that something was ‘administratively awry ‘ was when going through immigration to leave South Africa. As the officer stamped my passport she commented something about not having any blank pages. Hmmm… was this possible?? I checked. Indeed it was. How did that happen?? Katy informed me that we needed to get a visa in Zambia, a joint visa that would allow us out of Zambia and then into Zimbabwe. Hmmm… I wondered where they would stick the visa?
Then the gravity of the situation sunk in and I did something I rarely do… I started to cry. The officer seemed pleased to see that I was appropriately concerned and told me he was going to break the law and could get fired and added that he has a family support. No guilt trip there. He then proceeded to slap the visa on top of a full page of passport stamps. Our driver seemed as relieved (as was I) and he informed me about 15 times that I’m the ‘luckiest girl on the planet.’ And, I honestly did feel that way!
Our chopper also cruised over the surrounding savannah where we (thanks to Katy Hawk Eyes) saw groups of giraffes, elephants, zebra, and even a buffalo. 
Next we headed to the gorge area of the falls, which is also stunning. We zip-lined across the gorge, to make sure we were taking in the views from all angles. 
Our Falls viewing trifecta concluded with a tour on foot. Our guide, Musa, led us through the rain forest to 14 look-out points while explaining the history of the falls and sharing other fun facts. Here’s one for you: the water that goes over the falls in 3.5 days is the amount of water New York City uses in a year. Mucho agua! Our safari luck extended to Falls viewing and we had a beautiful rainbow backdrop for almost the entire hike. You can’t photoshop this stuff! That night we went to “the Boma” drum show for a dinner experience, where we were adorned in sarongs and given drums to participate in the show. 
Among the buffet food options was a station serving Mopani worms, which are a thing people eat in Southern Africa apparently. We also learned they give you a certificate if you eat one…so that decided it! (at what age does a certificate stop working as an incentive to do something?) It actually wasn’t bad and tasted sort of like chicken. It was a fantastic last night, punctuating a fantastic five days. Many thanks to Katy for planning such a fun trip!
A few hours later Katy and I had to say a hasty goodbye in the airport, as I was led to another back office after being denied check-in to our flight… for not having enough blank pages in my passport. Huuuuge bummer. In the back office it became clear that South African Air was not going to bend the rules, even a smidge. I was also informed that South Africa immigration had started imposing fines of $2,500 when someone arrives without two blank pages on their passport (unclear why you need two blank pages for one stamp)…. and that the fines went to the individual gate agents who checked you in, so it was personal. At that point, I stopped asking nicely for them to bend the rules. I was told my options were to buy a ticket to the U.S. (no thanks) or fly to Zimbabwe’s capitol city, Harare, to see what the U.S. embassy could do to help. I figured I’d first try another airline and hoped that maybe British Airways wouldn’t be such sticklers, so I purchased another (thankfully refundable) ticket to Cape Town… and was denied access once again. At least they’re consistent! To Harare I go… I guess. For a split second I wondered if I’d be in Zimbabwe for life. 
I landed in Harare and realized I had a few problems. The first being that my phone did not work on their network and there was no WiFi in the airport. I had called the embassy from the ticket office before my flight and they’d told me to call back when I landed. The second issue was transport… Zimbabwe is having a currency crisis and they only accept either U.S. dollars or their black market money, neither of which I had to pay for a cab. Big sigh. Talk about feeling stuck! I wandered into a random airline office in the tiny airport and asked if I could use their phone to call the embassy. Unfortunately their landline phone only allows calls to cell phones. Random. Lucky for me there were two gents in the office buying a ticket and one of them offered me his cell phone. He even purchased more data so I could make the call! After several attempts I got through to the embassy and was told they were closing and to come in at 8 am the next day for a temporary emergency passport. I felt a little bit better having a plan. Upon hearing my transport quandary the two guys offered to drive me to my hotel. They were THE NICEST men and I learned on the drive they are both pastors. 
The pastors were supposed to travel that day but their trip had been cancelled at the last minute. They told me they thought the reason it was cancelled was so that they could be there to meet me and help me out. I was not arguing with this logic and was extremely grateful. They asked me my thoughts on Trump (as most people do when I meet them during my travels.) They then informed me that Zimbabweans are big Trump supporters- which surprised me. The reason is purely religious, as Trump has been vocal about being a Christian and with his anti-Islam sentiments. Since Hilary was not vocal about these things, it’s assumed she is not a Christian and supports the spread of radical Islam (they also believe Obama is Muslim.) The pastors said that before the election there were entire church sermons devoted to praying that Trump win the election. Go figure.
We stopped a few times during the drive to snap photos at various look-outs and made one very important stop, at an establishment called Ronnie’s Sex shop. 
This place is really a find, and as you can see, in the middle of nowhere. As lore would have it, Ronnie had just a regular little shop/bar and one night his friend got drunk and decided to play a prank on good ol’ Ronster… a prank that involved a can of red paint. And… business boomed after that! It reminds me of that time when some of my classmates repelled off the roof of my high school to remove some choice letters from the the side of the building… transforming Beverly High School into Beer High School. Unlike Ronnie’s, unfortunately we weren’t able to get t-shirts to reflect the new name. 
We got to meet Ronnie and he was exactly as one might expect the sole proprietor of Ronnie’s sex shop to be, drinking a beer in the middle of the bar area that has people’s bras, underwear and t-shirts hanging from the ceiling and walls. Cheers to Ronnie and his business acumen… and moving on.
We arrived at our beautiful accommodations in Oudtshoorn just as a spectacular sunrise was starting and we enjoyed it with glasses of more delicious South African wine. 
The next morning was an early bell to go observe meerkats waking up in their natural environment. I’ll be honest (as I always am- for the good or bad) that I didn’t think I knew what a meerkat was before this trip… but then was reminded of Timon from the Lion King. It was super cool to see the little critters emerge out of their burrows one by one as the sun rose and interact with each other, while scanning for danger and marking their territories for the day. 
As an aside, they sleep in different burrows every night so the “meerkat guy” (who narrated the experience and was quite the character) has a team of people who run around the savannah every day figuring out where the little cuties are burrowing that night. Here’s Meerkat Dundy in action: 
We then moved on to our next adventure… swimming with the seals. I admit I was a smidge skeptical of this activity- for two reasons. One is that I didn’t think of seals as particular friendly mammals who necessarily want me swimming with them. I wondered if this would be forced like an exhibit at Sea World. The second reason is the more obvious one- the potential for seals as shark bait. I put both of these concerns out of my head, however, in true Teha’s Travels style, and tried to go into the activity with an open mind and positive attitude. And… I loved it! We took a speed boat way out to an area where there are “rafts” of seals (that’s what you call a group of seals- who knew?!). We then plunged in (literally) in our snorkeling gear. I admit I had a minor freak-out at first, as seals were everywhere- swimming underneath me, next to me, etc. I quickly calmed down, though, as I learned that they are actually very friendly and playful (think Flipper, but a seal) and we had a blast swimming amongst them!
And, I swear that one approached me to give me a high-five with his fin! 
After some beach time, we moved on to our accommodations for the next three nights- a beautiful spot called Hog Hollow. My roommate, the Fabulous Claudia from Toronto, and I were surprised and thrilled to wake-up the next morning with some monkey friends greeting us- like a wake-up call! 
We the headed to the beach for a surfing lesson that we were all very excited for and did not disappoint. 
This was my third time surfing and I was glad I loved it as much as the first two times… although I am slightly confused that in the three lessons I’ve had I’ve been taught three different ways to stand up on the board. Maybe different countries differ on their approaches? Next time I’m just going to freestyle it, I’ve decided. It was lucky for us that our guide, Jamie, is also a professional photographer in her spare time and took photos from the shore. She even made it look like I knew what I was doing! 
Our post-surfing lunch was a traditional South African “braai” (pronounced bry) which is basically a delicious outdoor BBQ. We enjoyed a delectable sampling of sausages, chicken, grilled veggies and salads. I was told by the braai-guy that in a “real braii” it’s all red meats and chicken is the salad, but we were quite happy with our menu (especially the vegetarian in our group.) 
The next day was one I’d been nervously anticipating for much of the trip, or at least since I’d agreed to participate in an optional activity… bungee jumping 600 feet off of a bridge (at a place where its claim to fame is being “the world’s highest bungee bridge jump.”) Yup, it’s pretty freakin’ high.
I was SOOOO nervous for this but something in me knew I’d regret it if I didn’t do it. Throughout the trip me and my fellow jumpers (Christina, Courtney and Hannah) had been referring to future activities on the trip as “pre-bungee” and “post-bungee,” implying that we may not be around to enjoy the latter with the group (they may have been joking with this but part of me wasn’t). Here’s our before pic:
Nevertheless we signed our lives away (literally) and made the long trek out to the bridge. There was some signage on the trail that made me laugh….this warning seemed like the least of my concerns at that moment. 
I went last and was so impressed watching my friends make the plunge and especially as each was pullyed back up to the bridge with huge smiles on their faces saying they wanted to do it again. I assumed they were putting on a happy face for me. Here’s the jump prep, where I’m clearly trying not to look behind the guy I’m talking to: 
Courtney had a Go-Pro that we were all able to use and the video of my jump pretty much says it all!
We then swung by an elephant sanctuary where we got to interact with and feed the majestic animals who we’d be seeing a lot of in their natural habitats in the days to come. 
Here’s Claudia and I inspecting their brushing:
And this is a male elephant, believe it or not 😂
That night kicked off a trifecta of birthday celebrations for our group… how lucky we had not one but THREE birthdays to celebrate, and in a row! Jacy was our first birthday queen, followed by Julie and Hannah. So many excuses to eat cake and we even discovered a shooter called the “birthday cake shot” that we taught various bartenders to make (it was only fair that each of the birthday girls should have them on their special day). Here are the lovely ladies we celebrated: 
We were off “on safari” the next day, which is something I’ve always wanted to do. Our destination was the Addo Elephant Park where we stayed at an amazing safari lodge called the Kuzuko Lodge. The way the safari thing works (this was news to me) is that you stay in a game reserve that is fenced in with electric fences, at a lodge (that is fenced in within the reserve) and you go out on three hour guided “game drives” two times a day (in pretty rad safari vehicles). 
The game drives take place early in the morning and around dusk as those are the times the animals are most likely to be out and about (they smartly lay low during the hottest time of day.) It was SUCH a cool experience! 
It felt surreal to be observing elephants, lions, ostrich, giraffes, buffalo, etc. in their natural environments (don’t worry, photos below) and I enjoyed learning more about them from the very knowledgeable guides. And I had a LOT to learn. This was evident when I decided to use the lodge business center to create “Safari Bingo” cards for some friendly safari competition. There were nine squares on the template so I included the “Big 5” of African safaris (elephant, lion, leopard, rhino, buffalo) and tossed in four more animals. The safari ranger loved the idea of the game (they may keep doing it!) but was quite amused to see I’d included a tiger as one of the animals. Whoopsie… guess they don’t exactly exist in the wild on the African continent. I feel like maybe I knew this but forgot? Alas, the next game drive I had revised cards to distribute (the ranger was kindly my Bingo consultant this time) and Hannah, the birthday girl that day, was the victor! 
We were told we were lucky to see a lot of lion activity on our game drives and even got to see them just after having made two “kills” of large prey… the circle of life, indeed. 
It was fascinating to watch the animals interact with each other and the various dynamics between different species and even within the same species (the “dominant” male lion, Sylvester, for example, clearly ruled the lion roost. I totally get where the King of the Jungle title comes from.) 
It was also interesting to learn about the survival instincts of different species and see them in action. It occurred to me how much time and energy human beings spend fighting our own instincts and how much easier life would be if we were able to trust our guts more. Noted. 
After two exciting days of safari-ing we bade farewell to our many four-legged friend and headed back to civilization for (sniff, sniff) our final night together in the beach town of Port Elizabeth. The group had become so tight during our two week adventure that it would not be a lie to say many tears were shed during our good-byes (don’t worry friends, I won’t name names… too many to name.) 
To give you an idea of how amazing and diverse this group was- there were two guys on the trip, and they really could not have been more different. Matt hales from Birmingham, England and is self-employed as a farmer. Neerav is of Indian descent and works in the finance industry in NYC. Yet they share the commonality of being two of the nicest and funniest guys I’ve met, and they quickly became best buds. Actually, pretty much the whole group became best buds! 
Fortunately by the end of the trip I’d managed to nail down some short-term plans for after the tour (you may recall at the outset of the trip I had none… and no return ticket). Luckily of my new tour friends, Katy, had planned an add-on trip to see a few more sites in and around South Africa and she kindly agreed when I invited myself to join her. Then our tour guide, Jamie, has a birthday camping trip near Cape Town planned with a bunch of her friends, that I also invited myself to join. Phew, things to do! And I do realize I’m lucky they were both too polite to say no to me. Stay tuned for safari phase 2, up next!
I immediately got a really good vibe from Cape Town and was glad the tour was starting with three more nights in the city before moving onward.
That night we headed to the Camps Bay area for dinner by the beach to catch the first of several amazing sunsets we’d be seeing together. 
[Side note: you may have caught wind about the water crisis South Africa is currently facing. The situation is no bueno. The country has been having a drought since 2015 and water levels are critically low. It’s a huge problem and many water restrictions are in place across the country, with plans to turn OFF the water in Cape Town in a few months! This is called “Day Zero” and will disable the ordinary water supplies to more than a million homes. It’s a sad and scary situation- nobody here is disputing Al Gore’s stance on climate change.] 
Ok, back to the tour! The next day we started off with a spin through some picturesque Cape Town sites, including the Bo-Kaap, a predominantly Muslim neighborhood which was created by emancipated slaves in the 18th century and is known for its brightly painted houses. 
Next… it was up Table mountain, the aptly named mountain overlooking the city and the key contributor to the aforementioned stunning views. 
We were all looking forward to hiking the mountain but due to high winds, we had to take the cable car up instead. I learned that the weather is unpredictable and can be extreme in South Africa– and the winds are no joke. It’s one reason that almost as many people have died climbing Table mountain as Mount Everest (yes, I fact-checked this.) I didn’t really believe the magnitude of the wind until experiencing it myself at points over the next two days- at one point I honestly thought a woman’s stroller was going to blow away! Jamie said South Africans are used to it though and don’t need to grab onto trees like I did at one point, soon after taking this sunset selfie. 
Despite not being able to hike up the mountain, we had more than our fair share of excitement as we embarked on a rappelling adventure (South Africans use the British English term “abseiling.”) I’d never been rappelling before and was a little nervous but I loved it! I will say that despite loving it, while doing it my nervousness turned into full-on fear that lasted for most of the experience. Good fear, though! I always love an adrenaline rush. 
And, we did get in a mini-hike, making our way up the rocks back to the top after our rappel. 
Afterwards, we all said we’d do it again as we thought it would be less scary the second time (although none of us are sure that it actually would be.) And it was easy for us to say that as we knew there was no time to actually do it!
We had ocean paddle boarding on the docket that morning and with the wind being strong in some areas we wondered how choppy the sea would be. The conditions we had are best described as Class II rapids, maybe Class III in areas. This is only a minor exaggeration. Thankfully the paddle board guides realized that sending us out on boards would be more like surfing than paddle boarding so they adjusted the plan. Instead of individual paddle boards we used huge, group paddle boards and had a kind of whitewater rafting experience, which was a blast. 
I can’t remember the last time I laughed as hard as I did during this activity, especially when trying to stand-up on the board and trying to avoid falling into the chilly, choppy water. It. was. hilarious. 
And, there is definitely a chance the tourists on the beach thought we were refugees as we paddled by. 
We did all manage to stand-up at the same time- which is a minor miracle -and our adventure ended with a race between the two boats (my team won but no I’m not all competitive.) The victors: 
Afterwards, we got a closer look at the penguins on the shore that we had seen from our rafts (I mean paddle boards.) They are cute little things and it’s really cool to watch them swim- as they torpedo underwater like missiles, and then do this cute wing-flapping thing to dry off when they get out. 
And the coolest part is that it’s the female penguins out frolicking in the water while it’s the male’s job to sit on the egg on the shore! No doubt penguin dudes complain incessantly about this arrangement. 
After a delicious seafood lunch by the sea we headed onward to the Cape of Good Hope, which is the most southern point of Western Africa. It was beautiful (and windy, as you can tell from the pics) and we even had some baboon and ostrich sightings on the way. 
We concluded our stay in Cape Town with a trip to Robben Island, which holds the historic prison where Nelson Mandela was held captive for 27 years. We toured the island and jail facility, led by a guide who had been imprisoned there himself for five years. It can’t be fun for the guide to have to relive his experiences everyday but he gamely answered questions from the group, including someone who wanted to know why he didn’t try to escape. I mean… really?? This person was not part of my group, obvs. 
It was interesting to learn more about the prison and the people who had been held captive there for years at a time (with no indication of if or when they would be released). Their living conditions: 
The jailers thought they were being smart by separating the regular joe prisoners from the political leader prisoners but they ended up creating a situation where the leaders had years to plan for the fall of the apartheid, even drafting a constitution (haha, joke’s on you… that strategy backfired!) While touring the prison, the recentness of the fall of the apartheid really struck me and it was crazy to think that Robben Island was still a working prison until 1996. Despite the rawness of apartheid, so far I have found South Africans to be very open and willing to talk about it as a part of their history. They aren’t wanting to brush it under the rug and seem to genuinely want people to know the truth. 
That afternoon we took another stunning coastal drive to the beautiful wine country town of Stellenboschun (fun fact- there are more than 4,000 vineyards in South Africa.) Stellenbosch is a charming university town and we made ourselves right at home, enjoying a sampling of the delicious local wines at an outdoor cafe. The next day we hiked through the hillsides of the neighboring town of Franschhoek, spotting a few baboons along the way and learning about the unique vegetation that grows there from our hiking guide, Tayne (Wayne with a “T” he explained to us Americans.) 
The region actually has one of the most diverse samplings of plants in the world, including South Africa’s national flower, the king protea. 
Of course after our hike we had to re-hydrate and what better place than a local winery? 
At Grande Provence we took in the picturesque views, enjoyed a wine tasting (complete with a “nougat” pairing) and had a most delish picnic lunch. This is my kind of picnic! 
And, of course we’re trying to do our part to help with the water crisis. 
Needless to say, so far it’s been a phenomenal trip with a phenomenal group of people! I can’t believe it’s almost halfway over. That reminds me- I guess I should figure out where I’m headed after this… I never did work out the details of that “land exit.” Oh well! Staying in the country longer would definitely not be the worse thing….
Moving on-ish…the mystery flight out of El Nido (that was only a mystery to me) took us to beautiful Bohol. Bryan Not-Adams had the not-so-easy task of herding our group of 13 through the airport…but we made it and were greeted with adorable little monkey necklaces. 
We were taken to our home for the next three nights, a 
And here’s our first glimpse of our latest slice of the paradise pie that this country is. 
That night we enjoyed more fresh seafood at one of the many restaurants on the beachfront that our hotel overlooks. Since it was the night before Easter the beach was packed with revelers and we even got a fireworks display (which Bryan took complete credit for arranging). I hadn’t realized that the Philippines is 80% Catholic, so obviously Easter and everything around it is a huge deal and we saw many festive celebrations throughout the week. 
The next day (Easter Sunday) we were off on our next adventure- exploring the “Chocolate Hills” that Bohol is known for. I’m used to chocolate on Easter but this was even better! The Chocolate Hills are scattered throughout a 20-square mile area and are these cone shaped mini-mountains (100 to 400 feet tall) that are apparently a geological anomaly. They are a luscious green color in the rainy season but brown in the dry season (when the grass dies and the mud that forms them is exposed), hence their name. We started our exploration of said hills with an aerial view from a viewing area. 
Once we had our bearings, we got down and dirty with our hills exploration, cruising through them on ATV’s.
This was a BLAST and we all finished absolutely covered in “chocolate” (I wish!).
Part way through our journey we stopped to hike up one of the hills and take in more views. 
We also saw many interesting sites along the way, such as this Easter dinner prep.
Some minor excitement when Fi’s ATV stalled while cruising through some water but our guides troubleshooted quickly and we were on our way. 
We rinsed off as much of the mud as we could before heading to our next destination- the Tarsier Sanctuary. So, I’d never heard of a tarsier either, but they are adorable little monkeys who are native to the Philippines. They are so tiny that they could fit in the palm of your hand and they look like little Yodas! They actually have the largest eyes relative to body size of any mammal and their eyes are the same size as their brain (random tarsier factoid). And, because their eyes are so big they can’t rotate them, so instead their neck can turn 180 degrees in each direction! Despite this exorcist-like party trick, tarsiers are sensitive little creatures, and they like their silence and darkness while sleeping (who doesn’t, right?). But apparently, while in captivity, light from camera flashes and noise can make tarsiers commit suicide! We carefully creapt through the sanctuary, pointing and snapping a few flash-less pics of the cute little buggers- hoping they wouldn’t off themselves on our watch. 
Tarsiers are sadly an endangered species with the numbers continuing to plummet. This is because they require a specific habitat with certain vegetation and lots of insects to eat, which is harder and harder to come by. The Philippine Tarsier Foundation runs the sanctuary we visited and looks after about 100 of the adorable little creatures. Needless to say, we all fell in-love.
Back at the resort, we relaxed by the pool and took in a stunning sunset before enjoying another beachfront meal. Life continues to be a struggle!
The next day was a BIG one…my birthday!!! While I wasn’t exactly psyched about this birthday rolling around, I could not have asked for a better one and I want to thank my 13 new, super-awesome friends for making it so special! They even made me card and wrapping paper- using printer paper, colored pencils and staples. So industrious! And, yes, there were presents! Sneaky Fiona even got me a tank top I’d been eyeing at a shop in El Nido, after she’d convinced me not to buy it. 
I spent my birthday morning paddle boarding down the gorgeous Loboc River, that is lined with palm trees and other luscious vegetation. We stopped along the way to use a rope swing and try various challenges presented by our guides. Cristina won the “balancing on one foot contest,” with an extremely impressive 21 seconds! I didn’t trust my phone dry bag to keep my phone dry (learned that lesson in Croatia), so unfortunately there are no photos to prove any of this actually happened. You’ll have to take my word for it!
So, if you’ve followed my blog at all (or if you know me at all) you know that “relaxing” is not exactly my area of expertise (at least in the relaxing-by-not-doing-anything-active kind of way). I actually find more relaxation in movement than sitting still (weird, I know). But, when the day after my birthday was a “free day,” I chose to “relax” at the resort and actually thoroughly enjoyed laying around! Maybe this is a getting older thing?!? I will say, the scenery definitely helped (as did the fact I needed some recovery from the birthday revelry the night before). 
Proof I was “relaxing!” 
Danny, Joe, and Bryan got up early that day and went on a boat trip, which they enjoyed- while they did say it was odd to be on a boat with “other people.” I completely understand how that would be odd, as all of our tours in the Philippines had been private and, quite frankly, it was the lifestyle to which we had become accustomed! They seemed to tough it out okay, though, strangers and all. 
The next day we hopped a flight to a town called Cebu, and stayed at a beach resort on Mactan island. Our final dinner (sniff, sniff) was at a “floating restaurant” and we even had a personal musician, regaling us with acoustic cover songs. I will say it was quite entertaining to watch the group (mostly British) belting out “Country Roads,” in accompaniment to the Filipino musician, as we sat on a floating restaurant in the middle of the South China/West Philippine sea (which sea it is depends who you ask). A perfect ending to a perfect trip!
My personal favorite is the hat’s perfectly timed jumping photo on the beach! 
Meanwhile, I enjoyed the amenities and soaked in every bit of sun that I could. I only had to push a few kids out of the way to get a turn on the water slide! 
When I left, it was just Phil at the resort…the last one of the group. He tried to evoke some sympathy for this circumstance but I didn’t feel bad for him, at all. 
While it was sad to have the trip come to an end, I’m so glad that the our group chat has continued to be active, as we share photos, re-live memories, and even plan for reunions (yes, reunion plans are already in motion!). Bryan Not-Adams even made a two-minute video of the trip (talk about going above and beyond!) You can view it